…and I want to share something that I believe is really important.
Lisa and John share in this one about the turning point that happened in their early marriage when their relationship was a mess.
Lisa said that, for her, as she prayed about the things John was doing that hurt her in this very difficult period of time, God said, “Lisa, tell Me that I’m enough for you.” Lisa said, “Does that mean that John will never change, if I say that?” God said:
I just need to hear you say that I am enough for you.
And so she began stating this every time she was struggling to deal with whatever John was doing.
You know… God led me through the same thing 18 years ago.
Let’s face it. A marriage links two faulty humans in a day-in-and-day-out intimate relationship. Therefore your husband or wife has the capability of hurting you more than anyone. And they most likely will. Because nobody is even close to perfect. Things that will not hurt you when a stranger does them to you will hurt you terribly when your spouse does it. Things that are somewhat easy to shrug off when someone who is just a friend does it will crush you when your spouse does it. This is a fact of life.
So for us, year four was the difficult one when we struggled so much with hurt. I was hurt by things that I couldn’t understand why he did them, things that I knew he didn’t realize hurt me, and more. Anyone who has been married for awhile knows the kinds of things I’m talking about.
So there came a day when God was asking me the same thing:
Am I really enough for you, even if your husband never changes?
Looking back, I can confidently say that almost everything that I have in my relationship with God came from THIS. This choice to believe that God really was enough for me, even if my husband never changed. Even if the one person who was part of myself never learned not to _____.
I believe that this choice was the foundation of almost every life-changing revelation I have ever had. And to be quite honest, I think this decision I made might also have saved our marriage.
This decision to trust… to learn to rely upon what God says about me and about Himself in the face of difficult circumstances allowed Him to be God in my life, rather than me falling into the trap of expecting my husband to provide things that only God can fulfill. It allowed God to teach me forgiveness. God taught me to draw a strength from Him that I don’t think I ever would have learned any other way. It also opened the eyes of my heart to see my husband for who he really was… a man who loved me with every fiber of his flawed and faulty being, just as I loved him with every bit of my flawed and faulty being.
I believe that this truth… this conviction… is foundational in the life of every married Christian.
What about you?
Is He enough for you?