Just in case anyone else is fighting a bad mood this morning…
I am, too. I don’t know why, unless it’s because I foolishly stayed up too late last night. I’ve snapped twice this morning already. I even went back to bed, which I almost never do.
I laid there, searching for the answer to what’s wrong with me? The answer I found was to a different question. How do I get out of this?
He melts moods like this, when I let Him.
But isn’t it strange how sometimes we don’t want to be put into a good mood? We want to wallow in it? In fact, the only thing that gave me the strength to actually go put worship music on was the knowledge that if I didn’t, then come this evening, I’d be in no position to help lead worship…I’d feel like a hypocrite or a fool, practicing a song with words about reaching out…preparing to conduct our Compassion Sunday. And I would wish I had pushed play.
Although, come to think of it, I suppose this is why my enemy hit me this morning. He’d love to hijack and taint and steal anything he can from what I feel God wants to do this Sunday.
Anyway…I crawled out of bed, since I wasn’t sleeping anyway, and a truth I know from the bottom of my heart shot through me.
Choosing obedience to God over what my flesh wants, results in happiness for me.
It’s not cliche, and it’s not one of those things people just say to get you to do something. This is a truth that I have learned…something I’m not going to try to explain, other than that I know it’s as elemental as putting food in my mouth and my stomach getting full as a result.
And He said clean my room. (Okay…I’m laughing, just as I typed that. I sound like a child, don’t I?)
So I reached for the stack of clothes that needed to be put away, and the basket of more that needed to be folded.
And I clicked play.
These are the words that washed over me:
A thousand times I fall, still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again, still I’m caught in Your grace…
And the next song:
Oh Lord, You’ve searched me
You know my ways
Even when I fail You
I know You love me.
Your holy presence
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this…
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?
How glorious it is to know that He gave Himself for me.
Even when I’m like this.
Because I am like this.
And because He loves me anyway.
Here are the songs, for anyone who might need to listen to them as badly as I needed to.
Just in case.