When death draws near…

Again, yesterday, I was all set to blog on one topic, when death swooped in and hijacked my day. This time, it was not the death of a pet…it was notice of the impending death of something infinitely more precious.

I am not at liberty to share details…yet I know that many of us face days like this. And so I want to share my heart in this as well.

When things like this happen, we naturally begin to search for answers…the whys and hows…the whose-fault-is-it searches. If we’re wise, we present these questions before God. (For I believe that, to search for answers to these kinds of questions anywhere else, other than in The Answer Himself, is to open doors for the devil to make that problem infinitely worse.) note to those who know me – If you are someone close to me who can hazard a guess at the news…I ask that you do not assume that you know what my questions are. They are not the questions that I would have been asking any other year of my life, they may not be the same questions you are asking, and I do not want assumptions to give the devil opportunities to wreak any more havoc than he already has. Thank you for your grace.

Yesterday, God took my questions and gave me another that I had never considered before. Why do I feel the need to know these things? More specifically, what need exists inside of me? What need does my mind think the answers to these questions will meet? I don’t know that I’m explaining this very well…but in myself, I recognized this feeling that, if I could only figure out the answer to this question, or that question, it would somehow satisfy something inside of me. That something…that need that wants to be satisfied…is what I felt God pointing to, for He is the only One who can satisfy every need I will ever have.

Quite honestly, I still can’t identify that need. Does it have to do with security? Am I trying to rationalize things? Or is it simply an attempt to accept a reality that I do not want to accept? I don’t know.

What I do know is that the book of Psalms is written for times like this. Maybe God allowed David so many years of being surrounded by death, just so he could pen psalms that would bring me comfort. If so, I am grateful. No matter what, this is definitely something negative that God took from David’s life and turned it into something beautiful in my own life.

God again, fulfilling His promises.

Psalm 86:1-10

¹Incline Your ear, O LORD, and answer me;
For I am afflicted and needy.
²Preserve my soul, for I am a godly man;
O You my God, save Your servant who trusts in You.
³Be gracious to me, O Lord,
For to You I cry all day long.
⁴Make glad the soul of Your servant,
For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
⁵For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.
⁶Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
And give heed to the voice of my supplications!
⁷In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You,
For You will answer me.
⁸There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord,
Nor are there any works like Yours.
⁹All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord,
And they shall glorify Your name.
¹⁰For You are great and do wondrous deeds;
You alone are God.

Psalm 83

¹O God, do not remain quiet;
Do not be silent and, O God, do not be still.
²For behold, Your enemies make an uproar,
And those who hate You have exalted themselves.
³They make shrewd plans against Your people,
And conspire together against Your treasured ones.
…
¹⁵So pursue them with Your tempest
And terrify them with Your storm.
¹⁶Fill their faces with dishonor,
That they may seek Your name, O LORD.
¹⁷Let them be ashamed and dismayed forever,
And let them be humiliated and perish,
¹⁸That they may know that You alone, whose name is the LORD,
Are the Most High over all the earth.

Psalm 57

¹Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me,
For my soul takes refuge in You;
And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge
Until destruction passes by.
²I will cry to God Most High,
To God who accomplishes all things for me.
³He will send from heaven and save me;
He reproaches him who tramples upon me Selah
God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth.
⁴My soul is among lions;
I must lie among those who breathe forth fire,
Even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows
And their tongue a sharp sword.
⁵Be exalted above the heavens, O God;
Let Your glory be above all the earth.
⁶They have prepared a net for my steps;
My soul is bowed down;
They dug a pit before me;
They themselves have fallen into the midst of it. Selah.
⁷My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises!
⁸Awake, my glory!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
⁹I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to You among the nations.
¹⁰For Your lovingkindness is great to the heavens
And Your truth to the clouds.
¹¹Be exalted above the heavens, O God;
Let Your glory be above all the earth.