Those of you who are new to this blog might end up thinking that I do nothing but quote my sister’s. If so, it’s not true. The last post and this one are the only times I’ve done it. (Well, so far, at least.)
But once again, she posted something yesterday that’s so encouraging, I wanted to make sure you all got to benefit from it too.
Maybe some of you have already seen the email that’s been circulating lately… the one about the mother who decided that she must be invisible, since no one ever seemed to acknowledge anything she did. She resented it… until a friend gave her a book on cathedrals, “with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.” If you haven’t read the email, go straight to my sister’s post because she posted the whole thing on there, and what’s here will make more sense if you do.
But afterward, my sister explained that she was posting it in memory of our mother, whose birthday was yesterday. She died five days before her birthday, two years ago… and only after she was gone, did we realize how magnificent the cathedrals she had been building in our lives really were.
I think all of us mothers (and probably fathers too) have felt like the mother in the story did… that no one notices or appreciates most of what we do. And that’s why I’m going to share with you what she wrote at the end of her post, because it’s oh-so-true.
I wanted to post this too, as an encouragement to all those mothers and future mothers who may read this. As mothers, you may feel invisible as you raise your kids … so many mothers have felt this way … and if you do feel invisible, it is just quite possible that you are doing your job to perfection.
My Mom certainly wasn’t perfect. She did everything from outright sin to little idiosyncrasies that drove us nuts. Living with her was a challenge after the age of about 13. It’s not surprising, then, that I didn’t realize how vital her presence was in my life until she died. If she had lived, I may have lived the rest of my life not quite realizing how much it meant to have a mother like her. And you know what… I think that’s the plan. The realization for me of how much she actually meant in our family and in my life came in the days and months and weeks and years after she died. Living without her has made me realize just how invisible she was.
So to all those current and future Moms out there (or Dads) – you mean more to your child than they will ever know … and thank God for that. When you feel invisible to them, it’s just because you’re as real to them as breathing. You’re a part of their fabric of existence, and heaven forbid that fabric should be torn or even stretched. If they never notice you, you just may be doing your job right.